In the last blog, I discussed the concept that we as children of God, needs to be different from the world. It's not that easy. I know that all too well. Why is it so difficult? I think I managed to identify one possible problem. The problem of labels.
We get labelled as we go through life by people we encounter along the way. Our parents label us, our friends label us, our partners label us, every person you encounter has the potential to put a label on you. The sad thing it that we accept the labels. Some labels are good, some labels are bad. Very bad. The label I carry is very bad.
Since I can remember my mother described me as a difficult person, a person with a bad temper, a person always ready to fight and so the list goes on. One person I worked with several years ago said I don't just shoot from the hip, I use an Uzi. Gradually the label I carried became my character.
My names didn't help either, it just added fuel to the fire. My first name means battle or war. My second name means battle maid. Go figure. I believe in that thing of life and death that reside in the power of the tongue. So every time somebody calls my name, they call me the battle maid actually. I have tried to kill this battle maid, believe me. I tried dying to self and I succeeded at times for weeks. Until somebody pushed the wrong button and the battle maid jumped out. Every time I looked at her and wondered who kept her alive all this time??? I thought she was dead! Maybe I should change my name to a name with the most gentle meaning. If I could have any assurance that it would work, I would do it.
People that know me expect me to react in this battle maid fashion. They approach me ready to fight and then we end up fighting anyway. The only exception is my husband. He sees me as a gentle person and my gentle side is all he ever gets. Not even when I am upset with him does he see the person other people always tell him about. Why? Because he labelled me differently.
I want to be free from my label. It won't be a quick and easy process, I know that. I have to train my mind to think differently, to have different expectations from people and to react differently. But I am going to try. I have to.
I don't want the character of this label anymore. I want the character of God.
What label do you have? Who labelled you? Are you reacting to that label? If you can, please comment and tell your story too - there might be somebody out there who needs to read it.
Firstly I want to tell you that you are not alone on this one. Somehow I think we all have the battle maid in us. If you can remember , your and my first encounter was not a pleasant one. We both had our backs to the wall and fought like it was our last fight. So silly we were.
ReplyDeleteI have been labelled by many different people whom I have worked with .... "Slang Kop Rudolph" just to mention one. Although we don't always want to fight it just seems to boil up and yes the explosion happens. As a child I was always withdrawn and very quiet. I let others dictate to me and I was easily influenced. One day something happened inside of me and it was like I had to break the silence! I now find myself arguing easily and on the defence way too often.
I feel that we can try and change but sometimes circumstances just bring out the worst in us. And I am the first to admit that it is HARD to lap it up all the time. Surely we all have to have an outlet pipe.Some people punch doors. Some people play a sport, some meditate.
Perhaps someone could suggest ways to let off steam instead of biting off heads?
Cindy
Oh yes the ever present label. I have carried many labels in life. The one that seemed to stick is the "she is different" label. I have always been a very independant person - yes on the odd occasion I have lost my mind and blindly followed people but for the greater part I follow my own mind. And yes my mind seems to have a mind of its own...hahaha. My point is that I was raised to think for myself. My parents NEVER helped me with any school tasks. They felt that the best way to learn anything was to discover things on your own - so off to the library I went.
ReplyDeleteThis lead to me very quickly developing my own opinion about things. And I very quickly shared my opinion with other people. The problem is that in most cases my opinion differs from most peoples. This is why the label "she is different" still hangs around my neck. Some people now avoid me because they don't feel comfortable being around a "different" person. I have a best friend whom I can speak to for hours about how good God is and how wonderful his works are. Why do I mention this... because this friend of mine goes to a completely different church than I do and our view of God differs completely yet we have never had an argument about the matter. Why because she sees past the "she is different" label and accepts me as just a person with an opinion.
It is not just a label it becomes a part of you. I have for years kept quiet about various matters such as religion and politics because of my "different" opinion not being socially acceptable. Why can't we just listen to a person and then if you don't agree with something give your opinion. Why do we feel the need to judge and label someone just because we don't agree with what they say or do?
If I choose to take a drink every day does that mean I am an alcoholic?
If I choose to not marry does that make me less of a woman?
If I choose to play the lotto do I have a gambling problem?
If I scream because I am angry does it mean I have a temper problem?
If I don't cry does that make me heartless?
If I buy new shoes because they are beautiful does that make me vain?
If I don't go to funerals does it mean I didn't care?
If I don't pretend to be stupid does that make me arrogant?
If I never fight does that make me spineless?
If I don't share emotions does that mean I am depressed?
Why do we need to label people? We should judge every situation based on merit. What I do today should not be what I am judged on for eternity. And yes I sometimes also label so it's something we can all work on.
Being different - hahaha - I know that label too! I wonder how many times in my life have I been called weird or eccentric. One lady stood in my house, shook her head and said "You have such eclectic taste"! I had to look up the word before I realised I was just called weird again. I don't care about it anymore. I became proud of being different. The wrong reaction to a label maybe, but at least it relieved me of the worries of being different. For what it's worth - I like you just as you are. Different. With your own opinion. Just like me!
ReplyDeleteYeah I like you too...
ReplyDeleteHilda, being a battle maid can be a blessing... Oh how? you may think. Well for one, God needs Battle Maids in the Spiritual realm. Could this be your calling?
ReplyDeleteJust wondering about that one. As long as I've known you, you did battle. When you accepted God, you did it in the songs and music you wrote.
Please look at i with the Spirit and see if you are not truly the "battle Miad"