Tuesday 3 May 2011

My Mother

She agreed to visit me for just over a week.  I was very surprised but absolutely delighted.  She doesn't like leaving her own space.  Sleeping in a strange bed has become an uncomfortable experience for her.  She tried to overcome that by bringing her own pillows.  Drinking another brand of coffee is taboo, so she brought her own just in case.  Cremora in her coffee is a must, so she brought her own jar of that as well - just in case I didn't have.  Even soap is an issue - she brought her own brand with her.  I quietly smiled at all of this.

Every day we spent knitting.  Some conversations were deep and we cried more than once.  Some conversations were full of giggles as we gossiped over everyone we knew.  Some stories were told to me a few times - she can't remember that she had already told them to me.  I didn't mind - each time I listened as if it was the first time I heard it.  Each time I laughed at the funny parts as if I never heard it before.  Just because it was her telling the story.

There were long periods of silence too.  Times where the only audible sound were the knitting needles.  It didn't bother us.  We were quite content to just be in each others company.  It has become a rare luxury in the rushed world I live in.  Her world is that of a pensioner.  My world is still a rat race that I can't escape.

Sometimes, she was so absorbed by her knitting that she didn't notice I was quietly staring at her.  Taking in every little line on her face.  Looking at her eyebrows that has become so thin.  Her cheeks that are slightly sunken.  The skin on her hands that were thin and nearly transparent.  She had become so old.  She is so small compared to what she used to be.  She is frail. 

I was so blessed to have her with me for these few days.  I don't know if I will be blessed like that again.  Her years are many - 76 of them.  The only prayer I have for her now, is that God will answer her prayer.  Every day she prays that God will take her in her sleep.  She doesn't want to be sick, she doesn't want to suffer.  And she believes that He will.  He promised in His word to grant us the desires of our hearts.  Her desire is to go quietly.  May God grant her that desire.

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